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How to stay the course: What does resiliency look like?

Updated: Feb 6, 2023

We grow through pain. loss and trauma.

Resilience is our ability to survive and flourish through our traumas, stressors, responsibility shifts and challenges offered by life.”- Sherrie Campbell.

When first considering the #consultantlife, I asked a dear friend who was already established in the field for some advice.

“Rhonda,” he said, there’s going to be feast and famine - days when you’re on top of your game, and other days when you are going to struggle. But if you can stay strong, and stay focused, it'll be one of the greatest things you’ve ever done.”

I think it's the same for all self-made businesses - unqualified successes as well as times of challenge.

The trick, however, is to find tools that'll help you weather the storms when they come - as they will - and come out the other side - relatively unscathed.

What we’re talking about here, is RESILIENCE, which the Merriam-Webster dictionary describes as:

re·sil·ience | \ ri-ˈzil-yən(t)s \ (noun)

1: the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress

2: an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change

The resilient among us are easy to spot – they’re the ones who refuse to give up even in the face of devastating loss or challenges.

According to former navy seal and author Eric Greitens,

Entrepreneurs choose a life of hardship. They choose a life that will hopefully be marked by joy, achievement, laughter, and satisfaction, but will also inevitably be marked by confusion, chaos, change, fear, and disappointment. This is true of everyone’s lives, of course, but the entrepreneur chooses a life in which he or she is very likely to have higher highs and lower lows, in which the peaks of joy and troughs of dread are likely to be more vivid than if he or she made a safer choice.”

But here's the thing …How will we recognize it?

  1. what are the qualities of resiliency?

  2. What makes you become resilient?

  3. Can someone be born with that resilient gene,

  4. Or , can it be developed?

Here below, are 3 major qualities of resiliency/resilient people:

1. They respect themselves:

It’s difficult to become self-reliant if you constantly rely on other people for your sense of worth. This means we must become our “own best friend” as we learn to soothe ourselves when the going gets tough, regardless of the circumstances-and especially when things become stressful.

To some extent, this taps into the “fake it till you make it” concept, but essentially it requires that we maintain our composure, as we tap into our sense of self - and use it as our motivation to continue pressing forward.

2. Resilient people are never perceived as needy, desperate or even overly reactive:

This "centeredness" influences their ability not only to perform assigned tasks but to form emotional connections.

By nature, the resilient amongst us are more confident, as well as more emotionally intelligent.

They usually have a relaxed attitude and view rejection not as a loss-but as a new opportunity (or at the very least, as a way to pivot).

When faced with challenges/challenging situations, they don’t get down - in fact, they commit to getting up since they're not dependent on others for their resources.

3. They are discerning:

Image courtesy Shutterstock

Those who are self-reliant in nature know to achieve happiness and success in life and in business they must also choose their relationships carefully. They're aware that negativity in any form is "drama-producing", and as such, they are mindful not to surround themselves with those who are arrogant, egotistical, or greedy.

This discernment extends to their desire to create or seek relationships that are mutually beneficial-both at a personal level and in business, since they understand that without this, nothing productive can happen for either party.

"It's okay to be brave and afraid at the same time" - Brene' Brown.

Are YOU resilient?

Do you want to learn how?

Share in the comments!

Links to help you build resiliency in your life/business


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