How to stay the course: What does resiliency look like?
Updated: May 5
“Resilience is our ability to survive and flourish through our traumas, stressors, responsibility shifts and challenges offered by life.”- Sherrie Campbell
When I was first considering the consultant life, I asked a dear friend who was already established in the field for some advice. “Rhonda,” he said, there’s going to be feast and famine - days when you’re on top of your game, and other days when you are going to struggle. But if you can stay strong, and stay focused, it will be one of the greatest things you’ve ever done.”
I think this is the same for all self-made businesses - unqualified successes as well as times of challenge. The trick, however, is to find tools that will help you to weather the storms when they come - as they will, and come out the other side relatively unscathed.
What we’re talking about here, is RESILIENCY, which the Webster-Merriam dictionary describes as, “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to adversity or change.”
The resilient among us are easy to spot – they’re the ones who refuse to give up even in the face of devastating loss or challenges.
According to former navy seal and author Eric Greitens,
“Entrepreneurs choose a life of hardship. They choose a life that will hopefully be marked by joy, achievement, laughter, and satisfaction, but will also inevitably be marked by confusion, chaos, change, fear, and disappointment. This is true of everyone’s lives, of course, but the entrepreneur chooses a life in which he or she is very likely to have higher highs and lower lows, in which the peaks of joy and troughs of dread are likely to be more vivid than if he or she made a safer choice.”
The question is, what are the qualities of resiliency? What makes you become resilient? Can someone be born with that resilient gene, or can it be developed?
I can’t say with any certainty one way or the other, but here below, are 3 major qualities of resiliency/resilient people:
1. They respect themselves
It’s difficult to become self-reliant if you constantly rely on other people for your sense of worth. This means that we must become our “own best friend” and soothe ourselves when the going gets tough, regardless of the circumstances, and especially when things become stressful. To some extent, this taps into the “fake it till you make it” concept, but essentially what it requires is that we maintain our composure, as we tap into our sense of self - and use it as our motivation to continue pressing forward.
2. Resilient people are never perceived as needy, desperate or even overly reactive. This influences their ability not only to perform assigned tasks but to form emotional connections. By nature, they are more confident, as well as more emotionally intelligent.
They have a relaxed attitude and view rejection as a new opportunity (or at the very least, as a way to pivot). When faced with challenges/challenging situations, they don’t get down - in fact, they commit to getting up since they are not dependent on others for their resources.
3. They are discerning
Those who are self-reliant in nature know that to achieve happiness and success in life and in business they must also choose their relationships carefully. They are aware that negativity in any form is drama-producing and as such, they are mindful not to surround themselves with those who are arrogant, egotistical, or greedy.
This discernment extends to their desire to create or seek relationships that are mutually beneficial-both at a personal level and in business. They understand that without this, nothing productive can happen for either party.
Are YOU resilient? Drop a line in the comments.
Links to help you build resiliency in your life/business